Auditions

      Tomorrow, I have an audition.

      I hate auditioning.

     Even more so, there's a lot of pressure for me with this one.
     One: Because it's a show I've wanted to do for 22 years, and hardly ever gets done (and I'm not getting any younger), and Two: I'm auditioning for someone I went to college with 20 years ago - who is now the head of a theatre company.

     I've been on and off of the stage for about 25 years, and nowhere near as successful as some of the other people I attended college with - Not to mention, I dropped out after only one semester.
     Because I went to a Performing Arts High School, I figured I didn't need anymore training, and decided to take my chances in New York City. I was a bit of a snob. I thought I knew everything.   
     Turned out, I didn't know shit.

     There was a reason I never got work in the first year I was pounding the pavement for a career.

     When I first moved to the city, I went on as many auditions as I could. I had my song, and a back up monologue in case anyone asked for it.
     In the audition notice, they would ask for us to sing 16 bars of "Broadway Legit" - So, I would go in with "Extraordinary" from Pippin. It took me awhile to realise that "Broadway Legit" meant Rogers and Hammerstein or Lerner & Loewe, whereas, I just thought it meant "any showtune that sounds like a showtune". Because this was stuff they didn't teach me in my Performing Arts High School.

     I showed up to an audition for a show about Anne Frank and sang "Waiting For the Light to Shine" from "Big River".
     When I left, a friend, who had overheard me, told me I had a lot of "soul" in my voice. I took that as a compliment - but looking back, I think she was trying to tell me I chose the wrong material for the type of show I was auditioning for.

     I went to an audition for a touring production of Gypsy, and after singing "Extraordinary", the Casting Director looked at my resume'.
     "Oh, you went to Dillard School of the Arts in Florida?" He asked me.
     "Yes, I did", I replied with a smile.
     "I went there. It wasn't that great of a school."
     I guess this was his way of telling me I wouldn't be getting a Callback.

     Over the years, I took my lack of training, and used my life experience to bring forth in my acting. I also realised I'm not as good as I once thought I was, but I'm better now than I was at the time.
     And I still suck at auditions.

     The first role I actually got in NYC was as a gay florist. The show had run for years at the Duplex on Christopher Street, and after my audition, the Stage Manager told me the Director was so impressed with the way I read for it, and they hired me on the spot.
     With only two rehearsals, I went up two weeks later.
     After the first performance, a cocktail waiter came up to me and said "I have seen this show SO many times, and you did something so different with the character. You made it fresh! - It was great!!"

     The thing is, I never let the compliments get to my head.
     And I'm still nervous when I audition....sometimes, even terrified.
     There have been many times I let my fear stop me from going to an audition, because I am my own worst enemy, and the one responsible for holding me back.
     I need a kick in the ass sometimes, and luckily I have a very supportive group of friends who aren't afraid to kick it as hard as they can.
     And once I'm at the audition, I climb aboard that train and ride it full speed until it's over...and then I can breathe again.

     Tomorrow is a big day for me, and all I can do is hope for the best, while my head screams "Fuck! Let's Hurry up and Get this over with!!"  in the process.
     I guess this is why I like being a Director - not having to deal with this kind of pressure.
     I sometimes wish I was one of those people that was so talented, I was asked to do a show instead of having to audition...but sometimes, we really have to put in the work in order to get somewhere.
     And maybe it's better that way, because if I was one of those people, it would probably get to my head...and I know too many of those kinds of people that I would never want to get to that point.

     Auditioning keeps me humble....and scared....although sometimes, I'd rather my fear be in the form of running through the woods being chased by a maniac.

Into the Worst Casting Choices...

      

 
         
           Since Les Miserables, it seems as though Producers want to put people in roles that they are not right for, just so they can cater to the mindless mainstream and bring in the bucks. It's the way Hollywood works...
       
          Ok - I know that this has happened many times prior, (Nine, Dreamgirls, Mame, Hello Dolly - the list goes on...) but I use Les Miserables as an example for the Russell Crowe fiasco. (Personally, I believe many people were miscast in that film, yet I think everyone can agree Crowe had no place in it.)

          This leads us to two films that are coming out in the near future where I, as well as many others, feel they have cast the wrong people in the wrong roles, and the Producers have no idea of the mistake they are making.
          One of these films is not a musical, but about an iconic musical artist, and the other is a Sondheim classic.

          Let's start off with: Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone.
       
         Why this is wrong:
          I'm not even going to go with the fact that Nina Simone disliked white people, and pretty much anyone who wasn't black, and that she will be played by a woman of Dominican/Puerto Rican descent, which is sort of a slap in the face to Nina...But Zoe Saldana is a person of color, so that is not my issue. (Although Nina Simone, herself, would have a fit!)

          My issue is that not only does Zoe look NOTHING like Nina, she doesn't sound like her either...and I'm not talking about the singing voice. Nina's speaking voice was about 10 notches lower than Zoe's and if she fakes it, it's going to sound like she's faking it.

          I am not discrediting Zoe as an actress, as I have enjoyed her work in other films, but casting Zoe in this role is like casting a 40 year old Diana Ross as Dorothy in The Wiz...
          Oh wait - that did happen.
          The role of Nina Simone was originally going to be played by Mary J. Blige  - which would have been great just based on looks and voice alone - and then she dropped the role due to funding.
         (I did my research and that was the only vague explanation I could find)
          So, out of the hundred or so qualified actresses that could have played the role, they went with Zoe Saldona.

          I smell a casting couch.

          And this is what Nina Simone's daughter, Simone (from Broadway shows, Rent, Aida and The Lion King) had to say about it in her interview with Ebony.
          We're pretty much on the same page.

So, here's Nina:

Here's Zoe:

And this is just not right:

         I really dislike seeing biopics where all I can see is the actress and not the person they're portraying...In this case, I wouldn't see either Zoe OR Nina, and if I hadn't known who Nina Simone was before, I'd probably still not know who she was after...

 Moving on:

          What are the Producers thinking of by casting Meryl Streep as the Witch in Into the Woods?
       
          Now, I know there are some die hard Streep fanatics that think she can do anything, being that she is, without question, one of the greatest actresses of our time...
      ...And then there are those that say they won't make their judgements prematurely and will wait and see...
       ...But the truth is, casting Streep as the Witch completely misses the point of her character.
       
          Forget that the Witch has some powerful iconic songs, (nothing like the mindless pop music of Mamma Mia), that Streep does not have the right voice for...(Could this possibly be when auto-tune decides the jump from Glee to Movie Musicals?)...
          The Witch's purpose in the entire first act is to find a spell that returns her to her YOUTH and Beauty.
       
          I'm not saying Meryl cannot be beautiful...but she is far past Youth - especially in cinematic standards.
          When Bernadette Peters originated the role on Broadway, she was 39 years old, and had a glamorous, sexual and gorgeous presence that still read on stage as youthful...
       
          Did Catherine Zeta-Jones slip their minds when they thought of box office draws?

          I won't even go into the "Johnny Depp as the Baker" idea - although he would be better as the Wolf, I can agree on that.

          And so, thanks to Les Miserables, for making me realise that some things should just remain on stage, because most of the people in charge who take it away from that venue have no clue what they're doing.

          But, hey - I could be wrong...(although I hardly ever am when it comes to this kind of stuff...) and Meryl could win her 4th Oscar in this role...
          Or not...
          And I can say this much: These casting choices are no worse than a 71-year old Barbara Streisand playing a 30-something Madame Rose in her version of "Gypsy".
          Oy Vey, Louise!

Carbon Cop Out : How NOT to Take on a Role

  

          Here's a cliche' for ya: "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"...unless you are unprofessional. Then, it just becomes the sincerest form of a cop out.

          Many years ago, I was involved in community theatre out in California, just an hour north of Los Angeles...in the West Coast Bible Belt. 
          I had just moved from New York City, and was excited to get involved with the theatre community out there - but, being a theatre snob, and having seen Broadway for the last ten years, this place was too easy for me to pick apart.
          I not only got involved - I saw the shows I wasn't involved in, since this was a small community, and most of the theatre people supported each other.
          I tried to be supportive, but the more I saw, the more I saw crap....both on and off stage.
         
          I can honestly say that there was some talent there, and they did put on some good shows from time to time, (the smaller the show, the better the production quality) but a lot of these folks were not serious about the theatre, as it was more a social outlet for them...like a Church away from Church.
         
          One year, one of the (three) companies put on a production of "Fiddler on the Roof"...which consisted of a whole bunch of Christians playing Jews. The show was a success and sold out every night, (mainly because there were about 40 people in the cast and they had a lot of friends and family.)
          The guy who played Tevye was a hit - but only if you knew nothing about theatre....or what it takes to be a good actor.
      
          The reality of it was this: Tevye had watched the movie one too many times and basically gave us a dead-on impersonation of Topol.
          For those who don't know, Topol originated the role of Tevye in the London production, and then went on to do the film at the age of 34. He continually played that role from 1967 to 2009, becoming the definitive Tevye, over Zero Mostel's original Broadway portrayal.
          But the thing is, we were not there to see Topol. We were there to see "Fiddler on the Roof", yet, people raved about Tevye's acting....wait - sorry...I mean, impersonation.
          I felt like I was the only one who scoffed at the unprofessionalism and amateur performance I had just witnessed.
          Standing ovation? Not from me!
          And shame on the Director for allowing this!

          See, when an actor takes on a role, they have to make it their own. It's a part of the creative process. Unfortunately, the people in this community thought the way to make it their own was to copy - either the movie, or the cast recording - whatever was available that they could easily get a hold of. This was the extent of their actor's homework.

          A few years ago, this California town did "Rent". I recently spoke to one of the cast members who told me that the Director didn't want them to change a thing, and to go home and watch the video of the final Broadway performance, as well as sing the songs exactly as it sounds on the cast recording.
          With "Rent"???
          Are you out of your fucking mind????
          So, they were basically blocked from a video that evolved within 10 years from the original cast.
        
          Yes, even Director's there were guilty of directing from the film or filmed stage productions. (I had only heard that their rendition of "My Fair Lady" was a recreation of George Cukor's film - just one of the many reasons I refused to see it - that, and casting a 15 year old girl with hardly any experience as Eliza Doolittle. Not my idea of an entertaining night at the theatre, thank you.)

          Back in High School, after being cast in a show, I discovered that I needed to stay away from cast recordings, because I found myself mimicking them - wanting to sing things that were added on the recording, but not what was actually written in the Libretto.
          When I was playing Tom Sawyer in "Big River", I purposely did not listen to the recording so that I wouldn't emulate John Short's Tom Sawyer...and I learned the song with the sheet music.
          My understudy, however, gave us John Short's rendition of "Hand For the Hog".

          Back to Tevye:
         So a few months after the "Fiddler" run, there was an Awards ceremony - sort of like the local Tony Awards - only, not as prestigious....or as entertaining....and much longer.
          It was my birthday, and I took my mom, who was in town visiting, as I figured it would be a good night of celebration. Plus, I was asked to perform.

          I was nominated for my role as Horton in "Seussical", and Mr. Topol Impersonator was nominated in the same category as Best Male Lead.
          He won.

          I would have been happier had any of the other nominees won, as my anger didn't come from bitterness. It came from the fact that he did not deserve that fucking award.

          This man, mind you, was in "Seussical" with me. He rarely showed up to rehearsals, was drunk half the time, brought his personal drama to rehearsals, and even missed a complete performance.
          He missed a performance and he's not blacklisted?? People have been blacklisted there for less. In my case, it was because I was honest - and no one there wanted to hear honesty, as they wanted their asses kissed. (Not to mention the homophobia and jealousy that was also a part of it, but we'll save that for a different blog.)
          There were a few exceptions out there, though. This one woman, who was in charge of a theatre group, let me direct one of their shows. We got along because we agreed on the bullshit that made up the community - including Tevye's Award Winning Cop Out performance - but she knew how to play the game. I didn't.
          Many in the community did not come see the show I directed - even though I ended up winning Best Director and Best Play in the next year's Awards Ceremony (Thank You!)

          The bottom line is: If you're just going to be a carbon copy and think that by doing so, you're putting on an amazing show or giving the best performance, then you really shouldn't be doing this...unless you're stuck in a community that doesn't know any better and that's the farthest you ever plan on getting as a performer....in other words: Crap!
That is not true Art - that is just Art imitating Art.